My musings on daily life with 9 kids ( 6 homegrown, 3 handpicked),Loving my Heavenly Father, My husband, and my children. Dealing with Autism, Epilepsy,
PICA, PTSD, Heart Issues,Drug exsposure, neglect issues, shaken baby, and Reactive Attachment Disorder. And the world of Waldorf home education
I really am going to start blogging more. FB is my blogs nemesis . It so easy to pop on and post a sentence or two. But I don't want to do that. I want to blog abut life, and reality of things that are ugly but can be used for good and the other million things that go through my head. .. So I am going to work harder...
This past month has been H.E.L.L. Not going to sugar coat it ( Im not Willy Wonka lol ) Our severely mental ill child was kicked out of her residential treatment placement. She is so dangerous and violent they could not keep her or the other kids there safe... The police picked her up and she went into a juvenile facility. They gave us 14 days to find another placement for her or we were supposed to bring her home... Now read above again. She is so dangerous that a staffed, professional facility couldn't keep her, yet THEY WANTED US TO BRING HER HOME... I notified our state child protective service letting them know of the situation and that if we could not find another placement we would have to "refuse to parent". This is where parents are put between a rock and a hard place. You cannot find or afford a professional facility, but if they are in your home you risk being charged with failure to protect your other children if something happens... This system is so broken... So I spent every waking moment trying to get her in somewhere. 16... yep 16 places turned us down... Including the state mental hospital! Most places are not set up to deal with a child like her sadly. So the day before our time was up, I held a meeting with the powers who be in the foster care adoption world.. They had no options for us.. They did suggest we give custody to her bio mom as a last resort... Ummm I WILL NOT send her back to ground zero for many many reasons. The main one because I want this child to receive all the help she can until she is an adult and can refuse it. I will fight to help her until I legally can no longer. Well by a miracle we got a placement literally the morning they were going to discharge her from Juvi. So thankfully she is somewhere safe, in a set up where others are safe from her also... Did I mention she is 10.... yes TEN. Reactive attachment disorder sucks... just plain sucks.
So on to the rest of the month. 2 days after getting her into her new placement, Sassy miss and I were driving to her ballet lesson and BOOM, some girl slammed into the back of us while I sat at a red light. She was going 40 and didn't even touch her breaks.... She was texting..... Thankfully Sassy miss was okay. I am still dealing with major pain in my back and shoulder where the seat belt was... Its getting better slowly... Did I mention I am a recovering addict of pain pills and muscle relaxers... So Im not taking anything which I am sure is making the healing time go by even slower....
It gets better!!! 2 days after that, Sassy miss broke her foot on a huge blow up slide, didn't say anything then went and danced on it for 2 hours at her recital.. Now thats dedication! Thankfully is a clean break and she is doing really well now.
Oh no Im not done! LOL A week after texty texterton slammed her mazda 3 into the back of us, I walk out of target after getting groceries and am like NO WAY. Did someone hit my car?! ( I was in in hubbys car in the other accident ) Oh why yes they did. They tried to leave but a good samaritan stopped her. While I called her insurance , her daughter shows up, and they start complaining about how long its taking me on the phone.... with their insurance... because she hit me..... I will just say there were many not Christlike moments during this interaction....
But both cars are fixed as of today, sassy miss is starting to dance around the house once again, and her medical equipment we were able to purchase from a fundraiser has been a HUGE blessing, and life changing here. Darling miss is somewhere safe and getting help for her childhood trauma issues, and it is almost July <3 a="" forward="" looking="" month="" nbsp="" new="" p="" to="">
I hope all of you are having a much more boring life, and finding joy in your journey,
Despite the rain and the chilly air we managed to squeeze some summer fun into this 3 day weekend.
We started off with the first trip of the year to our amazing local sno cone shack.
Then we worked as a family getting the yard all ready for summer fun! The kids found some tree stumps down the street someone had set out for bulk trash pic up so they promptly brought them home for and I have no doubt will find a million uses for them this summer.
Then after lots of hard work, we finished with our first trip of the year to our local pool, and then back home for a BBQ, and the first smores of the season <3 nbsp="" p="">
I pray you and yours will find lots of summer joy in your journey !
Corey was born 14 years ago today. White blond hair, bright blue eyes ( from parents with dark brown hair, and brown eyes LOL). He came screaming into this world, and continued to do so until he was about 4 years old. You see, Corey has autism. He was dx at 22 months. He said his 1st word, well words right before his 4th birthday. I will never forget it, and typing it now, still brings tears to my eyes. It was the day before Easter and we were having new carpet put in. All the furniture was in the driveway, and Corey loved to be rocked. Having such a disruption at our home was REALLY hard on him. So I sat with him in the rocking chair in the yard and sang to him. When I started singing "twinkle twinkle" he started to sing along, and sang the whole song with me. I wanted to shout from the rooftops, but I sat there and kept singing softly as tears ran down my face. Oh how far we have come from that day. Corey has progressed amazing amounts. He has friends, goes to cub scouts alone, and will talk your ear off about any of his favorite subjects. At Church if you cant find him, he will be sitting in the Chapel alone where the boys bless the sacrament, practicing the prayer to himself so he can be ready when he turns 16 :) We have been so very blessed by so many therapist, and Doctors that have helped all of us along this journey.
Having a special needs child changes you. I had 4 other kids before Corey. I was the Mom who looked at other parents with screaming kids at the store and thought "What are you doing so wrong that your kid is such a brat" Heavenly Father must have known how much humbling I needed and sent me Corey. He is the child that not only humbled me, but taught me to see the amazing miracles in the smallest of things. There are so many things I will never take for granted anymore.
I am so blessed to be his Mom and to watch such a sweet amazing spirit grow up. Thank you Lord for your blessings and Happy Birthday Son.......
So for over a year we have been trying to come up with the money to get a sleep monitor for Paige. They are expensive :/ Also with the new diagnosis of the heart arrhythmia we need to monitor her blood pressure and heart rate. More pricey medical equipment. Also when she has cluster seizures she will lose the use of the legs for up to 12 hours for some reason. I have hurt my shoulder really bad trying to carry her, so we realized we needed a transport wheelchair for those times.... Seemed pretty much hopeless... In steps my amazing WAHM friend from The Toadstool Forest (click on the link to see beautiful items! ) and asks if it would be okay to donate part of her sales to help us raise money. I was so grateful at such a sweet gesture. Then she thought she should ask some other amazing WAHM's ( who I will start sharing about in another post ) . Next thing I know all these awesome women have came forward and raised A LOT of money for Paige... I was completely and totally overwhelmed with it all. I learned many things. One that I am a much better giver then a receiver :) and that despite and the not good in the world, there are still people that are selfless, and loving, and just amazing in the world.... I will never have enough words to tell them how grateful I am or how much their act of kindness has changed my family.... It is with much gratitude that I share some pictures of what this has brought to help out Paige and make life a little easier...
Well after an incredibly long break I am back :) the past year has held massive ups and down, and changes. In hind site I wish I would have kept blogging about them. But I also think I needed this time to re group and heal a bit. I was going to start another blog , but I decided this blog holds a lot of history and is what brought me to who I am today. So I will stay here, and continue to share the good and bad.
Some updates.... I'm not going to go into super detail on some of these things but enough so you understand the severity of it all... Just over a year ago, Layna made some really horrible and scary choices in her day treatment program. They were caught on tape and she was expelled. She was also investigated and had she been older then 9, she would have been charged with a felony.... During this time some other things were found out about, including death threats and harmful acts to Bradley and Paige... I finally gave in and we placed her in a long term treatment home to get her the most intensive treatment available and to keep our other children safe.. I am sad to say a year later her behaviors are still not safe and are getting worse with the onset of puberty. But on the flip side of that Bradley is thriving, and I mean thriving. He is like a totally different kid now. He feel safe, and is happy and doing just amazing... As nice as it is, it is also sad how different our home is now. The police have net been out to restrain anyone, or transport to inpatient. No one screams for hours on ends and attacks me. My health is way better and my migraines , and weird stress related issues are almost totally gone. We are able to celebrate birthdays, and holidays, and go places now. My heart aches that she isn't here and healthy to be part of it all. But I'm grateful that my other kids are able to have a new normal... Paige has some pretty severe medical stuff going on. She deals with not only her autism, and hypertonia stuff, but epilepsy, and a heart arrhythmia, as well as asthma and auto immune stuff. Tons of med changes ( which I hate ) have also brought on a weight gain , I am battling to get it off her to not add anymore issues. But she is a fighter, and the other kids are amazing when she needs something.
So we press forward and take each day as it comes with gratitude in our hearts and joy in our journey....