Some rambling thoughts

Tonight dh and I went over to my brothers house to help him battle his yard. The weeds were about 2 feet tall, and growing in front of our eyes. I think I had teased him so much about it, he finally broke down and took care of it. I am sure it was just so I would be quite. LOL And since I gave him such a hard time we went to help. And he needed our yard equipment :)
My brother has a roommate who is a very old and dear friend. I have known him for almost 15 years. What seems like another lifetime ago, Dh and I used to go out with him and my brother, and go to the bar, or parties. I used to drink A LOT. Okay more then A LOT, but we will just leave it at that. I would stay out all hours of the night, and was about as far away from God as one can get. Then 6 years ago, all that changed. Dh and I took the kids to look at Christmas lights, and ended up at the Mesa, Az LDS Temple light display. The feeling that over came both of us still takes my breath away when I think about it. We decided to accept the missionaries into our home, take the lessons, and then decided to be baptised. It was the best choice I have ever made. The difference it has made in my life is undescribable. I have been through trials in my life since then that I know, that I could have never made it through without knowing about the gospel, and that Heavenly Father loves me. Those days when I felt like I couldnt go on, to be able to turn the Heavenly Father and pray is such a blessing. I have so many faily members, and dear friends that it just breaks my heart that they dont have that comfort and that peace. I know that our choice of church is not for everyone, but it was is best for our family. My prayer is that everyone find a church home that they feel comfortable in so that they may come to know that love that you can only get from God.

The Yuckies, OUCH, and Poor Girl Update

Dh and yougest dd have colds :( They both look pretty awful. I have the vaporizer going. I know everyione uses a cold mist humidifer now, but I dont like them. Something about the steam, and smell of vapor rub makes me feel like I am being more pro active. I have also rubbed oils on the bottoms of their feet, and have been adding a lot of garlic to their food. As you can imagine my master bedroom smells VERY odd. LOL Hopefully everything I have been doing will help speed up their wellness.

My tooth is KILLING me!( The above pic made me laugh) All the way into the bone. I have taken some pain meds the Dr gave me. I am sure it still hurts, but the pain meds have made me just not care.LOL Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in ASAP. Luckily the little ones are being wonderful. I just picked up some new playdough, and had found a box of playdough tools at a yard sale for $.25 that I had stashed away. So I assigned them each a color ( As my autistic kids do not like when the playdough gets mixed together) They have been playing quite for almost an hour. YAY!

Oldest dd is up and around for the 1st time in a week. I cant believe how much pain she has been in, and how long it took her to heal :( So I am very excited to see her up and around. Plus she did the dishes and cleaned her room! LOL

Open bar, Fellows, and it is QUITE!

I was reading a wonderful blog last night where she was talking about frugal dinners she makes. Listed was baked potatoes in the crockpot and doing a potato bar. Remembering the bag of potatoes I needed to use this week, I figured I would try it. I thought the kids and Dh would look at me like I was crazy, and wonder where the rest of dinner was. LOL So I wrapped them in foil and let them cook on high about 4 hours. On the table I put cheese sauce, sour cream, butter, bacon bits, brocoli, red and grean hot sauce and garlic. IT WAS A HIT! Everyone loved adding their own stuff, and clean up was a snap. This will be added to our monthly menu for sure.

Earlier today my 2.5 yo dd ( In above pic) spotted a bag of marshmallows on the counter as I was organizing the baking cabinet. She stared pointing I saying "I want fellows" It took me a few minutes to figure out what in the world she was talking about! I had no idea she even knew what marshmallows were. So in our house they will forever be known as fellows. LOL

Everyone has starting to get a runny nose, and slight coughs. So after dinner everyone got in jammies, drank some juice, and got melatonin as prescribed their ped. ( I only give it to them as needed, which is maybe 2 to 3 times a week) The little girls were excited since I let them watch a dvd on my laptop in their room, and youngest ds and I watched a dvd in my room. By 7:15 all were asleep. I have so much quite time to myself I dont know what to do! So of course I got online :)
Dh isnt feeling too hot either and is asleep. So I think I will dig out the "chick flicks" do laundry and enjoy the peacefullness.

Birth Parents, Delusions, and Immigration

We have a po box just for our dd's birth parents to be able to send mail to her. Birth mom doesnt write. I have no idea why, except maybe it is because she thinks when she gets out of jail she is going to hire a lawyer and get dd back. This is the same women that lost her at birth, and got her back 2 weeks later only to lose her again at 23 month, when she was high on meth, in the car with a driver high on meth, and dd in the car. The state gave her MORE then enough chances to get her back yet again, all of which she didnt show for. I myself spoke to birth mom and let her know that if she didnt do these things dd would be adopted by us. But anyhoo, I hope she figures it out, and at least writes dd so when dd grows up she will be able to know the woman who carried her in her womb.

Now on the other hand birth dad does write. That might be worse. He is a career violent criminal who was aressted at the hospital after her birth, was released,deported back to Mexico,came back to the US,fought us for custody, only to get arrested for another violent crime the morning of his court date. So we got custody, and were able to finalize her adoption in Nov ,Praise the Lord! I recieved a letter from him yesterday letting me know he was released again,and deported again.
He told me he was working on his "immigration problems" and hoped to be near his daughter soon.

Now I really dont think that they will be letting a career criminal come over to the US legally, and we were nice enough to set up a post adoption contact and agree to send updates, and pictures 4 times a year. In no way ,shape,or form, will I allow visits. In person or on the phone.

When she was in foster care she had 2 visits with him. She had not seen him since the day she was born,and screamed the whole time. The judge stopped the visits due to the damage it was doing to her. She doesnt even want to hear her birth parents names. It causes nightmares for days.

I now have to send a letter to him reminding him of the rules, and that I can terminate contact at anytime. Now to write a nice letter to a man who was arrested for drugs, and weapons, and my personal favorite "intent to terrorize"

The Husbands, LONG night, and good dog.

DD is having a rough recovery after having her tonsils out on Thursday.Luckily she has 2 best friends that Dh refers to as "The husbands" (Shown in pics above)They are very sweet boys, and from the looks of her bedroom you would have swore she was terminal or lost a limb. It is FILLED with flowers, balloons, and stuft animals. The bring her icees, movies, and whatever else she has requested. They stay here almost night and day to watch over her. Which has been a great help to me, and also much amusement. But I will always be grateful to them for being such great friends to her. Now if she would only realize how good she has it and not move away :(


I watch a long time friends 5 yo ds on friday and Sat night while her and her dh work. He has some special needs that they wont address, but that it a LONG post, and not my business to share. So anyway. He does not sleep. And if he does it is like an hour. So last night he wakes up at 3am crying VERY loudly to watch a movie. He manages to wake up 3 of my little ones. Dh gets a movie on for him downstairs, he falls right back asleep. My 6yo ds with autism (in above pic fighting Darth Vader)is now up for the night, and my 2 and 3 yo dd's have decided to join him. I make a bed on my floor and luckily the girls go back to sleep. But Ds and I stay up and watch Star Wars. YAWN.......



In the midst of all the mayham this morning our poor little dog was so upset that the kids were sad, she didnt know what to do. She goes from one to the next trying to console them. She finally fell asleep between the girls on my floor once she knew they were okay.

Poor little girl update, helping friends, and how many for dinner !?!?

Poor thing is still in so much pain. They said day 3 would be the worse. And it does seem to be. Luckily they gave her a lot of pain meds. Too much I think. I am not sure if they wrote the script wrong or the pharmacy read it wrong, but 500 doses of percicte (sp) seems a "tad" over the top! So I will keep bringing her 7up flavored popcicles we found at the pharmacy, and ice packs, and ice chips, and hope tomorrow is better for her.

A dear friend from Church is losing her father. He is in ICU with a 50/50 chance. My heart breaks for her and ger children. She does daycare so yesterday I went and picked up her 3 yo dd, and her 2,3,and 4 yo daycare kids. House count yesterday at 3 was 11 kids. Luckily they are all sweet and wonderful, so all went smoothly.

Friday night is friends spending the night at our house most weekends. So I made a HUGE pot of pasta, and counted heads. 2 of the daycare kids were gone, but we had added 6 more friends. So dinner for 17. Luckily I have a stash of disposable plates, and silverware!

My poor little girl

Okay well she is 18 and not so little, but she will always be my little girl:)
Today they took her tonsils out. She had throat stones and the only way to get rid of them is to take out your tonsils. She was all freaked out after seeing some movie wherethe guy isnt really asleep and feels all the pain, but cant move to say anything, Well that for sure did not happen to her! The nurses were entertained by her reaction to pain meds, and couldnt figure out why she was so loopy. They told me " All the teenagers in here normally have to be given a lot of pain meds" So I refered to her sweatshirt she was wearing that says "Drug Free" in huge letters across the front. And explained she is "Straight Edge" she doesnt drink, or do drugs, and also she doesnt eat meat or dairy. They were laughing and saying "Oh no!" She has no toxins in her body to counteract the meds. But she will be fine. WAY out of it, but fine.
But my little trooper made it, and is resting in her bed. Still cuddling her cow slipper :)

That went well part 2. and daily news

I wound up in bed yesterday with the flu, luckily it was a 24 hour thing. So I got a call from our intake worker. She just wanted to let me know that she was going to have to re "present us" to the intake people. Why? you ask. Because we homeschool. So I discuss with her that we may be going with another agency. The other agency suggested to us calls me yesterday. I just ADORE them thus far. I spent over an hour on the phone from my "death bed" with the intake worker, asked a TON of questons, got all the right answers, and lo and behold we will be starting MAPP classes in March. No "interviews" no "presenting us" just accepting us into their class. WOO HOO, now we are really moving forward.


Oldest DD (On the right) got her drivers license today. Dad doesnt think she knows how to drive well enough ,but the powers that be at the DMV disagree and gave her a shiny plastic card with her picture on it. She is thrilled as she can be. Sadly she wont be driving much as she is having her tonsils out tomorrow :(

Next oldest dd,(On the left) got a phone call this morning offering her more hours at work, and a pay raise! $9 an hour for a 16 year old is great! And she is SUPER happy about that.

Everyone is is wonderful, and HEALTHY! Lets hope it stays that way.

Well that went well!

So I have stressed myself into illness over our intake worker coming over today. I have mentioned before that she doesnt seem to care for us. Well she was WONDERFUL, and sweet, and supportive. Answered all our questions, and gave us some great advice.
REALLY not what I was expecting. But am super happy about it none the less. She left us with a MOUND of paperwork, and so I will spend my night doing that. We seem to be on our way FINALLY!

Step fathers, alcoholics,and Grief, OH MY!

Yet another drunken rampage by my mothers husband. Which yes I know makes him my step father. Yes he came around when I was 2, and yes I grew up with him, and for a long time called him Dad. Once my Mother passed away, and I grew tired of his issues and abuse I no longer feel obligated to call him Dad. And what a relief that is! The feeling of cutting off a toxic person from you life is amazing. It is like a gient weight is lifted off you. Yet sadly this story does not have a happy ending. I have a wonderful, amazing sister who is just 19 years old.(In above pic) This same man is her bio father. He now torments her on a almost regular basis. His excuse is that he is grieving over the loss of my Mother. Hmmm, the same woman he beat on and verbally abused for 30+ years. My brother, my sister, and my grandmother are also grieving over the loss of my Mother.Yet none of us get totally wasted and call another loved one and tell them they are fat, worthless, a b*tch, ect. Seems like a odd way to show grief if you ask me. Specially when you have shown these same actions for 30 years when she was still alive. Lets call it what it is. It is ABUSE. When directed at my Mother while she was living it was called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I grew up in it, I hated it, I broke the cycle in my life. I married an amazing man who would never put a hand on me unlovingly, and would never say something cruel, or hateful to me or the kids, and happily my brother and sister have seemed to do the same. My sister has a great boyfriend that adores her, and my brother has a sweet,loving girlfriend that he treats like gold. I will continue to pray daily that this man my siblings call Dad will step up, grow up, and treat them like they deserve.

It's Friday and I am beyond frustated.

I spoke with our intake worker yesterday, she is suppose to come to our home on Monday for more paperwork. YAY! Not :( You know how when you talk to someone and you feel like they would rather be doing ANYTHING else in the world besides talking to you. That is how talking to our intake worker makes me feel. So having this weigh HEAVY on my heart I called our former adoption worker from Calif. I told her some things that were going on, and she told me to go elsewhere and dont waste my time with them any longer. She refered us to another agency and I am waiting to hear from them. But of course it is friday so I wont hear from them until Monday. Everyday this drags on, is another day that a precious little boy sits in an emergency shelter waiting for a forever family.

Paper hearts, turkey,and missionaries. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

This morning some of the kids wanted to make hearts from construction paper for the ones they love. Thinking I am going to be showered with adoring signs of love from paper crafts, I went about my morning. I turn to see my 8 year old dd standing with a red heart and a pen. "How do I spell Valentines?" V A L E N T I N E S , "Okay how do I spell Tracy?" Confused I stopped and looked at her. Why? I asked. " You told us to make hearts for someone we love. And I love Tracy, plus she has a big heart so I drew big hearts on the heart." Now don't get me wrong, I myself adore Tracy. Tracy is out occupational therapist we have had for at least 4 years. I want the kids to love her, as I know she loves them. But it is a sad day for me to realize that I am not the 1st person that comes to the kids minds when they think of who they want to share their "hearts" with.

We are having the missionaries from Church over for dinner. I always sign up to feed them on the Holidays for some reason. I am making turkey. I know it seems like an odd choice for valentines dinner. But I chose it for 2 reasons. The 1st being it is taking up too much room in my freezer, and 2nd it will be plenty of food for all of us. And in typing this I just realized I need to go get a dessert!

Also on todays "menu" is stalking our intake worker from our adoption agency so we can get our paperwork done. She isn't much for returning my phone calls or my emails. I swear I am not trying to be a pest, but there is a little boy sitting in a emergency shelter waiting for us to get finished. I am still not sure why it seems I am the only one who cares about that.

Somethings I will never understand

You see these heartwarming ads on television, or ads looking for foster / adoptive parents. So you sign up, go to a meeting, turn in a ton of paperwork, go to another meeting, answer 1001 questions about your personal life, then are told that out of about 50 families that have come in that month, they will select 3 to start the training. Now math has never been my best subject, but when you have thousands of kids in foster care, wouldnt you take all the parents who are willing, and meet your standards? Luckily we were blessed to have already "chosen" a child and have a okay from his CPS case worker to move forward, so we dont have to be included in the "3"
But my heart breaks for those not chosen, and pray that they do not give up and will search out another agency who will be able to help them add 1 or more of the special blessings into their home and family.