Recently I head a song called "Bless the broken road" The lyrics brought tears to my eyes as it so reminded me of my marriage. (The lyrics are at the end in case you are wondering what they are) 13 years ago I was WILD. I was a single Mom, no child support, no co parent, making a lot of money. It was me and my kids and that was it! I was so independent it was almost sad. somehow along the way this amazing person showed up in my life. He was a friend of my brothers, 21 years old, very sweet, and very innocent. I was 24, and for sure NOT looking for a husband. But God had greater plans. Everyone laughed when we started dating. They all gave us 2 weeks MAX. Well it has been almost 13 years, and 9 children later. ( Well I came with 3, but he had adopted them, and loves them all the same) I watched all our friends "break up", some even got married! I knew most wouldnt last sadly. Then Sat an very old dear friend came over. We hadnt seen or heard from him in so long. He got married right before we did. I worried about some differences they had before they got married, making it hard on them. Sadly I was right. They are getting divorced. He wants a family, she wants a career. This makes me so very sad. We started laughing about how everyone thought Adam and I wouldnt last, and then he asked why I think we did. Adam and I knew the answer to this without even thinking about it. It is because our marriage is built upon the teachings of the Bible. When you put Christ 1st, then your foundation is solid, and can withstand the storms. I will admit there have been some BAD storms. but we have weathered them. And I know no matter what comes our way, we will be okay. I also know had we not both "found religion" we would not be together today.
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did
I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Halloween Costumes?!?!
The past couple of days I have surrounded myself with all that is good. And I also found that no matter how much good you surround yourself with, Darkness is always just around the corner if we are not careful. For example... Jonas wanted a ninja costume for Halloween. It is a running joke in our family. For YEARS when he was little he was a ninja every year. Even if we bought him a different costume, he would go and dig out that old ninja costume and wear it instead. Ninja costume sounds easy enough right? Not for a 15 year old boy! I looked at several Wal Marts, and nothing, so we decided to go to the big Halloween costume store down by the mall. I took Jonas, Emily, Corey , and Paige (so 15,9,8,and 4) I was FLOORED by the costumes! And just so sad that the choice of costumes for females of ANY age, are the same ones you would likely find at the Playboy house. There were little girls in line for the dressing room that looked somewhere from 8 to 12 clutching their "costume" of choice. Which as a parent broke my heart that they are being taught so young that it is okay to show yourself off like that. I am so grateful that when weeks ago Emily (9) picked out her "hippy" costume, she looked at it and said 'Mommy will this be appropriate with some leggings under it" She new right off, it was too short to our standards.
Jonas came around the corner, and stopped me and the little ones from going down a aisle and said lets go. I guess down that aisle were costumes of a VERY adult nature. I can only imagine what could be worse, then the ones down the other aisles! I was very proud of Jonas to see how upset he was, and hear his comments on how he felt about the selection in the store. And to re tell what he saw to his Dad when we came home.
So we made one last ditch effort to Target. When we found a childs 12/14 ninja costume that with some adjustments works. YAY!!!!
Jonas came around the corner, and stopped me and the little ones from going down a aisle and said lets go. I guess down that aisle were costumes of a VERY adult nature. I can only imagine what could be worse, then the ones down the other aisles! I was very proud of Jonas to see how upset he was, and hear his comments on how he felt about the selection in the store. And to re tell what he saw to his Dad when we came home.
So we made one last ditch effort to Target. When we found a childs 12/14 ninja costume that with some adjustments works. YAY!!!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
MISSING: a 37 year old wife to an amazing man, and mom to 9 wonderful children.
You wont see a story about her on CNN, or on your local news. No one really knows she is missing. She didnt even know she was missing until today. I only know her story because it is mine....
I used to be so happy in my role as wife and Mom. I loved Heavenly Father with all my heart, and loved to surround myself in his word. Then something changed. Not something big and life changing. Just a bunch of little things. Little things that seemed harmless, but once they all started adding up I drown myself in them. Things that were worldly started to become very important, I stopped reading my scriptures, or anything Church or Bible related for that matter. All my old favorite blogs that were inspiring, were replaced by new blogs that made me not content with my own life, and jealous of others. Slowly bit by bit it took me over. My husband became like "one of those men", my children became "irriating", I started thinking about what life would be like outside the 4 walls of my home. I became discontent, and miserable and was taking everyone else with me. And I didnt even see it....
Until this morning. I woke up to an email from someone I hold in high regard. She runs a website that for over 5 years has helped teach me to love the Lord, my husband, and my children. I have been uplifted by her and other women on her website more times then I can count. A very dear local friend I have today came from "meeting" her on the site.
She was told be someone else I highly regard about what had happened to my husband, and wanted to see if we were okay, and if she could post a prayer request for us. Now this is so kind at anytime. But you see, when I started to lose myself, I pushed these ladies away. I havent been to this site in MONTHS. I figured they had all long ago forgot about me. But they didnt. You see, I know the Lord has been waiting for me to figure it out, and these ladies are so strong with their walk, that he knew it was time for them to reach out. To make me remember who I really am.
So to my wonderful Heavenly Father who puts up with so much from me, Thank you. To Mel, and Elizabeth, Thank you
And to my amazing husband, and children, I am so sorry, and I love you with all my heart.
I used to be so happy in my role as wife and Mom. I loved Heavenly Father with all my heart, and loved to surround myself in his word. Then something changed. Not something big and life changing. Just a bunch of little things. Little things that seemed harmless, but once they all started adding up I drown myself in them. Things that were worldly started to become very important, I stopped reading my scriptures, or anything Church or Bible related for that matter. All my old favorite blogs that were inspiring, were replaced by new blogs that made me not content with my own life, and jealous of others. Slowly bit by bit it took me over. My husband became like "one of those men", my children became "irriating", I started thinking about what life would be like outside the 4 walls of my home. I became discontent, and miserable and was taking everyone else with me. And I didnt even see it....
Until this morning. I woke up to an email from someone I hold in high regard. She runs a website that for over 5 years has helped teach me to love the Lord, my husband, and my children. I have been uplifted by her and other women on her website more times then I can count. A very dear local friend I have today came from "meeting" her on the site.
She was told be someone else I highly regard about what had happened to my husband, and wanted to see if we were okay, and if she could post a prayer request for us. Now this is so kind at anytime. But you see, when I started to lose myself, I pushed these ladies away. I havent been to this site in MONTHS. I figured they had all long ago forgot about me. But they didnt. You see, I know the Lord has been waiting for me to figure it out, and these ladies are so strong with their walk, that he knew it was time for them to reach out. To make me remember who I really am.
So to my wonderful Heavenly Father who puts up with so much from me, Thank you. To Mel, and Elizabeth, Thank you
And to my amazing husband, and children, I am so sorry, and I love you with all my heart.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
All the gory details
So Friday the kids and I go to the park to meet up with our homeschool group. When we are leaving Jonas says it sounds like the tire is going flat. So I pull over and get out. Nope it is the radiator hissing. So I get back in and notice it is not running too hot, and haul behind home. We are about 5 miles away. We pull in the driveway, and smoke starts pouring out. I hurry and get the kids out. Open the hood, and the smoke is coming from the back of the engine. So that freaks me out and I put the car in neutral and roll it away from the house. That way if it explodes it doesn’t take the garage with it.
Adam gets off early and get a ride home. Takes the van a few blocks away to the auto parts store to get parts. I am standing out front with him talking, and he says he has to wait for it to cool down to work on it, then asks me to go check something on the internet. When I walk in, I tell all the kids to go play out back since it is nice out. ( I will forever be grateful for this choice) Less then 5 minutes later I hear this weird noice, and this cry for help. I run upstairs and see Adam standing in the front door way trying to get his shirt off and skin hanging on his left arm. He also cant open his eyes. I scream for Jonas to find the phone, and I call 911. The fire truck arrives shortly. I tell Jonas and his friends to keep the littles outside no matter what. They start working on him, getting him an IV and keeping him from going into shock. They then tell me they are waiting for the ambulance to come take him to Maricopa county burn center. I am floored. I had no idea how bad it was til this point. The ambulance arrives, and they get him in the back, and put me in the front. ( Which was pretty cool, since I got to hear all the calls) We pull out lights and sirens the whole way. Which is pretty far from our house. We get right in, and they give him some heavy duty pain meds, on top of the ones they gave him in the ambulance. So he is feeling okay. They start laying wet cloth on his arm, then she starts pulling the skin off. I have NEVER seen anything like it. And truly hope to never see it again. Its not like a sunburn. Its like big thick pieces. It was so gross. The Dr comes in, and thinks they may admit him. So I go make some phone calls to get our oldest daughter Christian to stay. ( She had rushed over as soon as she heard, so was at the house) Then they decide he can go home, as long as I am comfortable changing the dressing 2x a day, and he has to come back Monday. We say great. The Dr also wants to know what the heck kinda shirt he had on that he has no signs of being burned on his chest. And that he should have at least had some 1st degree burns. I just tell him we are very blessed. ( The only place Adam was burned is where his garments weren’t.) Also there is no damage to his eyes, which is a miracle on its own. Since it had got in his eyes and he couldn’t open them when I 1st found him.
So we are home, a wonderful, amazing friend from Church who was a trauma nurse for 20 years has been kind enough to come check on him daily. He is in a lot of pain, luckily the pain meds make him sleep most the time, so he can get through it. He still cries out in his sleep. I haven’t sleep since then, staying up to check on him, and keeping watch. The amount of pain meds scare me, plus he has been running a fever. So I am a tad loopy, but never the less grateful he is okay. He may have some scarring, they are not sure about nerve damage. We are praying not since it is his left arm, and he is left handed.
But I will post more when we know after going back to the burn center.
Adam gets off early and get a ride home. Takes the van a few blocks away to the auto parts store to get parts. I am standing out front with him talking, and he says he has to wait for it to cool down to work on it, then asks me to go check something on the internet. When I walk in, I tell all the kids to go play out back since it is nice out. ( I will forever be grateful for this choice) Less then 5 minutes later I hear this weird noice, and this cry for help. I run upstairs and see Adam standing in the front door way trying to get his shirt off and skin hanging on his left arm. He also cant open his eyes. I scream for Jonas to find the phone, and I call 911. The fire truck arrives shortly. I tell Jonas and his friends to keep the littles outside no matter what. They start working on him, getting him an IV and keeping him from going into shock. They then tell me they are waiting for the ambulance to come take him to Maricopa county burn center. I am floored. I had no idea how bad it was til this point. The ambulance arrives, and they get him in the back, and put me in the front. ( Which was pretty cool, since I got to hear all the calls) We pull out lights and sirens the whole way. Which is pretty far from our house. We get right in, and they give him some heavy duty pain meds, on top of the ones they gave him in the ambulance. So he is feeling okay. They start laying wet cloth on his arm, then she starts pulling the skin off. I have NEVER seen anything like it. And truly hope to never see it again. Its not like a sunburn. Its like big thick pieces. It was so gross. The Dr comes in, and thinks they may admit him. So I go make some phone calls to get our oldest daughter Christian to stay. ( She had rushed over as soon as she heard, so was at the house) Then they decide he can go home, as long as I am comfortable changing the dressing 2x a day, and he has to come back Monday. We say great. The Dr also wants to know what the heck kinda shirt he had on that he has no signs of being burned on his chest. And that he should have at least had some 1st degree burns. I just tell him we are very blessed. ( The only place Adam was burned is where his garments weren’t.) Also there is no damage to his eyes, which is a miracle on its own. Since it had got in his eyes and he couldn’t open them when I 1st found him.
So we are home, a wonderful, amazing friend from Church who was a trauma nurse for 20 years has been kind enough to come check on him daily. He is in a lot of pain, luckily the pain meds make him sleep most the time, so he can get through it. He still cries out in his sleep. I haven’t sleep since then, staying up to check on him, and keeping watch. The amount of pain meds scare me, plus he has been running a fever. So I am a tad loopy, but never the less grateful he is okay. He may have some scarring, they are not sure about nerve damage. We are praying not since it is his left arm, and he is left handed.
But I will post more when we know after going back to the burn center.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Short Post
Too tired to blog details, but will come back and do that tomorrow. So here is the short version.
Adam was working on the car last night, radiator hose blew and poured 200+ degree water all over him. He has severe 2nd degress burns completly over his left arm. He should have them on his chest, but those of you that are LDS will know why he doesnt.
Ambulance rushed him to Maricopa burn unit. They were wonderful to us. Luckily we talked them into letting him come home, but he has to go back Monday to be checked on.
I am wore out. And very grateful and blessed.
Adam was working on the car last night, radiator hose blew and poured 200+ degree water all over him. He has severe 2nd degress burns completly over his left arm. He should have them on his chest, but those of you that are LDS will know why he doesnt.
Ambulance rushed him to Maricopa burn unit. They were wonderful to us. Luckily we talked them into letting him come home, but he has to go back Monday to be checked on.
I am wore out. And very grateful and blessed.
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