Monday, April 26, 2010
( Excuse the typos, I am trying to get a lot out at once)
I noticed my last post was the 17th of March. Some big things happened after that and I havent been able to blog since then. It started on March 19th with a phone call to my Aunt that has been in California caring for my Grandmother since Jan. I had been calling about every other day to check on her. She wasnt doing well and was in the hospital, then sent to a rehab center to get stronger to come home. Well the phone call on the 19th wasnt good, and the one on the 20th was worse. We were told that there was nothing else they could do for her, and we should just keep her in the nursing home part of the rehab to pass away. Well that wasnt going to happen. My Grandmother lived in the same house for over 50 years. She raised 6 children, several grandchildren and then even some great grand children in that home. And she was as stubbern as the day is long. so for one she was gonna hold on until she got home, and 2 we were not gonna let her pass away in some nursing home. Well they wouldnt let her come home with only my Aunt to care for her, so I got online, booked 3 tickets (I will explain that later) packed bags, and caught the 1st flight out the next morning. I got there early afternoon and went down to the nursing home to bring her some clothes and to talk to the nurses. We got it all set up that she would come home Tuesday morning and hospice would come in to help us. Monday we got a bed delivered and set up in the family room and got all the supplies we would need. The transport brought her home and we got her into the bed, and comfortable. She could eat and drink whatever she wanted, so she had an orange and a cupcake that the neighbor had made, and a small can of soda. Hospice showed up and talked to us about her needs, and ordered any meds we needed. My Grandmother never wanted her kids to have to take care of her, but she was okay with me helping hospice. She wouldnt let me Aunt near her. LOL Since my Mom passed away 5 years ago, and was the 1st born, I thought it right that I stand in her place to help. She was able to talk to us that Tuesday, and a little bit Wed. People either came over or called to say goodbye. By Wed evening she only spoke to call out for my Mother, and late Wed night she grabbed my hand and squeezed as hard as she could telling me "Its wonderful here, its wonderful here!" That was the last thing she said as she passed away Thursday morning at 5:15 AM with my cousin Ray and I holding her hands, and my Aunt standing next to the bed telling her how much we loved her and that it was okay to go be with my Grandfather and my Mom. It was peaceful, and beautiful and I hope I am so lucky to be able to go after living a long life surrounded by people who love me....
Now for the drama.... ( You knew that was gonna happen right?!) 3 plane tickets.... 1 for me, 1 for Paige who cant function without me, and will torment everyone in her path, and one for Elayna. Elaynas bio mom is my cousin. And yes she was at my Grandmothers house. The night beofre I left and right before I booked the flight we got into a UGLY screaming match on the phone because she wanted me to bring Elayna with me. It ended up with me telling her EXACTLY what I think of her exsposing Elayna to drugs inutero, and then all that followed leading up to us adopting her. Nothing I said was nice, or Christ like, but I am a "Mama Bear" and she had hurt one of my cubs. But to my defense she was high on meth and started it. ( Insert tongue sticking out smiley here) Anyhoo.... to the anger of my husband, and shock of my older kids I decided to bring her. It turned out very well :) Not the happy visit with your bio Mom kind of well, but the WOW she is CRAZY and I am so glad I live with you well. She was spinning out of control most of the week, so Elayna got to see the ugly side of Meth ( Not that there is a good side) . But she also was able to visit with her half sister, who after spending time with me asked if she could call me Mom. Right in front of her Mom I might add, who didnt bat an eye. Sad thing is , we fought to adopt her too, but she went to her bio Dad. It is a sad situation. 1st grade and already ditching school, and talking back to the teacher :( my heart breaks for her. Elayna was ever so happy to get on the plane, and while I was packing told me she was so happy to be coming home and that ' she had enough of this visit" LOL She is a darling little girl and I am blessed she calls me Mom.
So thats that...... After I got home I have been dealing with the aftermath of being born into a DYSFUNCTIONAL family and having someone pass away. My "good" Aunt is in charge of the will and it has been a nightmare for her, so I have been trying to help out anyway I can for here. While the majority of the rest of the family torments her over everything.
But onto the month of May which will bring sunshine, swimming, and great family memories :)