Looking Through Windows

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Please Pray....

This story is so heartbreaking....
http://www.agapeleadership.com/pittmanfamily


One of my worst fears is a fire and I would have to figure out how to help all my children who are in different parts of the house. I will be checking all our smoke alarms tonight.
Please keep this family in your prayers. They have such a long road ahead.




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Looking back....

I was looking through old posts on my blog and came across this one below. It is from 6/17/08. I am amazed at how long of a journey this has been, and how grateful I am that we have found a great therapist and FINALLY some meds that have worked WONDERS. Sure somedays we still have "moments" but I will take a 5 minute meltdown over a 5 hour one that ends in her being placed in the children psych unit.

This is the book they gave us when we adopted. What would have been more helpful is a book on what to do when your new 3 year old is raging so bad you have to put her in a port a crib so you can make sure she doesnt hurt herself or another one of your children. You know, what she is doing right now as I type this. Or perhaps what to do when you take her from Dr to Dr and they each just keep passing you along to the next person. Or perhaps what to do when you are so stressed out you develop constant panic attacks, and your so stressed out your marriage is shaking at it's very core. And even your respite care worker that you have had for 5 years doesnt want to watch her. And constantly asks " What is wrong with her?" Followed by your OT who you have had for 5 years that tells you once a week during her visit " Something is very wrong with her, and she needs help" Also said OT worker is a foster Mom. And you mention all these things to each Dr or intake worker, and they just refer you to someone else. Or my personal favorite, " There is no evidence that birth Mom smoking meth her ENTIRE pregnancy will cause any problems." Ya because you can see how it causes no damage to the one that smokes it.... And I am SURE that a developing fetus taking in that same thing, will have no problems. Ya right...

Now we took her knowing there may be some problems, even at the tender age of 2. We asked "all the right questions" everyone that has done this before asks. And were brushed off, and told how lucky we were since she was so young, and the problems we were seeing would just fix themselves as she "settled in" So over a year later, all the love, and attention, medical visits, and anything else a child needs, and it is worse. She is cruel to the other kids, she lies about everything, she has destroyed more things in my home then the other 6 children combined over 18 years. She throws these raging fits unlike anything I have ever seen for HOURS. One day it was from 8 til 4!

So if anyone has been through this, has any idea how I can help her, or let me know is there some kind of way to get the system to work, please let me know!

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Week in review :)

Busy week!
Parent teacher conferences for Bryleigh and Bradley
Med check up for Layna
Lots of shopping for my redecorating projects
Park day with our homeschool friends
and a "staycation" with hubby or Valentines day :)

Tuesday brought both conferences for the 2 that are not homeschooled. Bry's was 1st. She is doing so well. I am so proud of how far she has become in the 3 1/2 years we have had her. She started as a scared, stuttering kindergardener struggling to read. Now in 3rd grade she is reading on level, class student council rep, ran on the track team, and is just a joy to be around.

Then was Bradleys. He has also come along way. Although we still have severe academic struggles due to his brain damage we think. Since his last med change his behavior has improved enough that he can go into the regular kindy class for about an hour a day! He still has some behavior stuff going on, but we are seeing improvement YAY! Today at church they were suppose to being in a family picture and a story about how they got their name. I explained to the teacher that 1. I have no idea how he got his name, 2. I would have never picked that, and 3. He will have a different name once his adoption is final LOL. She was very understanding :) I hate when things like that come up. I don't like having situations when my babies feelings could be hurt. And honestly I dont think he has any idea I am not his birth Mom. I was going through pictures one day of different people asking him who they were. I had snuck a pic of bio mom in there. when I got to her he said " I dont know who that is" Which is bittersweet for me honestly. Sad that a child doesnt know their own birth mother, yet thankul it didnt bring up any bad "stuff".

Layna had a med check Friday. Levels are therapeutic and she is doing AWESOME. We still have "moments" but they last maybe 5 minutes instead of 5 hours! She is doing great at home with her schoolwork, and is finally getting to enjoy being a little girl!

Lots of shopping going on around here with our tax return! Adam got a new car. A BMW like he wanted:)  It is beautiful, and so nice to be back to 2 cars! I have been busy redoing some decorating. New bathroom stuff, and I re did both girls rooms :) They looks adorable and I will post pics as soon as they are 100% done. We also got a computer for each kid now (well except Bradley) and got flat screen TV's and Wii's for each of the girls rooms. The boys also got a new flat screen. They are so excited!

Every Friday we meet at the park to play with our homeschool friends. This week we had new friends come and the kids had a blast. I am so thankful to have positive people in mine and my children's life!

Friday night Adam and I got away at a local resort. The room was beautiful and they had a on site restaurant were the food was simply amazing! During dinner Adam gave kinda  a little speech that was beautiful, then gave me a beautiful new wedding set for Valentines day / Anniversary. He said after 15 years it was time for an upgrade LOL. He is such a wonderful husband and Father. I am so grateful to be married to my best friend :)

This week has the bar set kind of high now LOL. Not really though. I have finally found so much joy in just taking care of my family and home, and finding all the joy I can in this journey :)






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Lighters and Haircuts :)

Today I took Corey for a haircut as his favorite place. You can pick a movie to watch or a video game to play while they cut your hair. He got his standard haircut LOL He hates anything other then short on top shorter on the sides. I had them give him a faux hawk last time and he was not happy with me :/ Lucky all it took was to wash the gel out and he was fine :)

while we were there Elayna asks if she can get bangs LOL. I tell her sure why not, it's her hair. She looks in the book and picks out a hair style. Trying not to laugh I tell her okay and they lady starts. Why the laughter?

We have a family joke. When my older girls were little they always had the same haircut til they were like 11 or 12. So it is not referred to as "the family haircut". What did Layna pick? Why its the family haircut! It looks adorable on her and will be great because she gets really sweaty and needs shorter hair :)

FOrgive the horrible pics, I am using my phone and it is getting dark.

Corey asked if he could learn how to use a lighter. Since he is almost 11 I figured it was a good skill :)
Here he is with his new haircut and lighter. He lit the candle in the family room and said " I am proud, I am super proud" LOL He is so funny.

And here is a random pic of Paige and our cat Willow because she insisted and we all know she runs this show :p

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Living in the present....

“Learn from the past, prepare for the future, live in the present.”
― Thomas S. Monson

Sunday at church we talked about this quote. I have always loved this quote but don't think I really thought about it until Sunday.


I seem to be pretty good at learning from my past :)
We are working on preparing for the future...
But living in the present  I realize I am not good at...


Raising kids with special needs changes things. With my oldest 3 I would think about their future in ways like "I wonder what they will be, who they were marry, and how many children will they have" With special needs kids ( including our mentally ill kiddos) I worry about things like " Who will take care of them when I am gone, Will they take their meds if they live on their own, will they end up on drugs, incarcerated, or worse. Will they find someone to love and marry that will understand and accept them 100%."


I spend my days and nights worrying about my precious children. I realized Sunday that I am so busy worrying about the *What if's* that I am missing out on now. I am not enjoying today with them.

So I am giving it to God. I will continue to fight for them to get all the help they need, but I will no longer focus on the future outcome. I will enjoy them, love them, and live in the present.